Sometimes we find our worth in things. It could be in vanity, relationships, friendships, likes on social media, our hobbies or our interests. For me, I’ve tried to find my worth in the way I’ve looked, the way I’ve acted and the way I’ve interacted with people. I’ve based it on comparison to other people and I’ve tried time and time again to fix myself up in order to disguise the pain of feeling unworthy and guilty and shameful. I am so amazed that time and time again I am led back to one thing that holds me altogether even when I feel like I’m falling apart, that one thing is Jesus.
Jesus who calls me worthy. Jesus who died hanging on the cross and still called me worthy, Jesus who looks straight into my soul, my spirit and all that I am. I feel drenched in sin at times yet He still calls me worthy. What love is this?
I’m writing this post as a reminder to not only you, the beautiful soul on fire reading this, but also to myself.
You see my worth’s taken multiple kicks in the side and I’ve questioned every single part of my body, examined every part of my personality, done the whole, “what have they got that I don’t have” and “what have I got that they don’t have.” I’ve looked for affirmation laced in other peoples words and measured up my worth against them but you see the cycle keeps on going.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:10
To break it, we have to come to terms with ourselves and what we’ve got going on. We are unique. Your sister from another mister is unique. She is different than you and has different influence but that does not mean that you should at all diminish yourself. Coming to terms with our different weaknesses and faults as well as what we’ve really got going on requires Jesus to do such a work in us that we feel content in who He’s called and created us to be.
Every day, is a process. Have grace for yourself.
There are on days and off days where I have to keep on reminding myself of my worth and everything that Jesus calls me to be. It can be a constant monthly, weekly, daily, hourly reminder. Sometimes, I can be so consumed in my own thoughts that I think myself sick, to the point of tears, to the further point of ugly crying into the sky (or a pillow) and pleading, begging the Lord to help me, mould me and change my unhealthy way of thinking. In Matthew 6 His word says:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. … ”Matthew 6:25-34
We waste our sweet, precious time fretting over things that are out of our control. Instead, let His peace that passes all understanding rest heavily on you in this moment.
Keep seeking God and let His grace overwhelm you. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. Boast in His glory, boast in the fact that what you think and feel are flaws are actually used powerfully by God. Your testimony will give rise to freedom! How beautiful is that picture?
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.2 Corinthians 12:9
The truth of the matter is…
Knowing my worth is a process, sometimes we can know it in our head and sometimes it doesn’t reach our hearts. Head to heart knowledge is important and I’m in that process now. That process of being taught and disciplined by the Lord who knows exactly what is best for me. It’s 100% ok to have a good old cry. Sometime I don’t have the words to say to the Lord and sometimes, all I want to do is cry and that’s all I have in me in that moment, and that’s ok. Maybe just maybe, my tears, momentarily, speaks so much more louder than my words could ever say.
But seriously, let me say it louder for the people in the back to finish
Your worth is not dependant on what a boy says to you. Your worth is not dependant on what you see in the mirror, what you eat, what you wear, how you are, whether you have it all together or are crumbling and breaking on the inside. Despite what you’re feeling your worth is dependant on an eternal, most high King, a King fiercely and passionately in pursuit of your love and your attention. He sings of your beauty, a beauty that is found solely in Him. He remains the same yesterday, today and forever, the only thing unchanging and constant. Knowing your worth in this way, baby girl, well, it changes everything.
He remains the same yesterday, today and forever, the only thing unchanging and constant. Knowing your worth in this way, baby girl, well, it changes everything.
Werk it out:
- Grab your journal and right 5 insecurities about yourself that you think you have.
- Alongside this, write 5 ways God can use these insecurities for His glory.
- Pray. First, pray over your insecurities that you may see them as an opportunity for God’s glory. Then pray that you’ll be able to be open and vulnerable about them because vulnerability gives rise to freedom.
- Have this conversation with 2 or 3 of your close girlfriends.